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Alienation

There are certain video games that fail to grab hold of my attention no matter how flashy their graphics, how rich their plot and how well designed they are. And then there are games that suck me right in and make me care about every tiny mechanism. I am sometimes surprised by how stark the difference is.  I am currently living my dream, yet I have yet to feel it. Given the freedom to work on my passion project, paid well, and absolutely no constraint on how I spend my time after work, yet it doesn't usher in the same joy as it used to when I was given the same freedom after the end of a school year back in high school. Nobody ever told us that choice, all at once, can be a burden. I do not intend to sound unhappy, nor do I feel that way. I think a more proper description would be untethered. I have not yet found the island to which I can anchor down when I wish to take a break from my journey at sea.
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A Philosopher

I arrived at NYC little less than two weeks ago. The city truly has a charm of its own, from the buzz of the Lower East Side to the sophistication of the Upper West Side. Amidst the excitement of moving to a new city, I got to experience the blues of being uprooted from all my friends again. Many talk up the thrill of starting fresh and reinventing oneself, I think that is overrated - at least, once is more than enough.  It struck me today that I am officially at the cusp of adulthood, for anything that may happen to me no longer follows a pre-ordained script. I have heard it before, my upperclassmen complaining about searching for jobs or worrying about finances. I am lucky in that I landed myself a pretty sweet tech job which brought me to the city in the first place. My (ungrateful) turmoil concerns more the question of why --- having no friends to witness, and no family to return to at the end of the workday, I feel untethered and devoid of motivation for doing my work. Yester...
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